


The First Thing

by lillianresolve



Category: White Collar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 21:58:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17088491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillianresolve/pseuds/lillianresolve
Summary: Elizabeth Burke ran away from home when she was 15. What happens when her father shows up on her doorstep over twenty years later with her husband and his CI? Nothing good. Season 4 AU





	1. Chapter 1

The first thing you need to know is that I ran away from home when I was 15.

My father had just left us and my mother, little brother, and my father's partner were all being transferred into WITSEC, but I didn't want to be Julianne Brooks. I didn't want to have to lie to everyone about who I was, so I ran. I changed my last name and ended up in New York like any runaway worth their salt. I ran small street cons to make money and lived in an abandoned apartment in the Bronx. I did okay for myself. I got my GED and met a wonderful woman named Stephanie and her daughter Jessica and they introduced me to art and music and fine food. Stephanie encouraged me to go to college and make something of myself and that's what I did.

The second thing you need to know is that none of that mattered until just now. No one knew where I was from or what high school I went to. My husband knows enough to know not to ask and everyone else in my life just accepts me as I am. No questions asked.

Right now, though, it matters very much because my father is standing on my door step looking at me like I'm the ghost of Christmas Past with my husband and his partner/best friend behind him.

"Lizzie…Wha…" My father gasps at me. Shit. Not good. Why the fuck is he here? Why is he with Peter and Neal? Do they know? _Fuck_.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" I ask with my most polite smile. The one I use on clients that Mozzie says could get me past any security guard in the city.

James closes his mouth, and clenches his jaw. "No, I don't think so. I'm sorry, you look remarkably like someone I used to know. We called her Lizzy"

I laugh lightly and look around, "No Lizzys here, just plain old Elizabeth. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Please, come in. I assume you boys are bringing work home with you?" I direct the last part of this at Peter and hope he hasn't caught on to any weirdness in the last 2 minutes. Peter gives me that squinty eyed look he is always giving Neal but says "Yeah hon. This is James Bennett, he's Neal's father. We are looking into something for him."

Hold up. Hold the FUCK up. Neal's father. NEAL'S father. Neal's FATHER! No. Just No. Fuck.

I guess that I had a visible moment of panic because the next thing I know Peter is dragging me up the stairs while yelling at Neal and his FATHER to have a seat at the table and get started without him. What the actual fuck. Peter sits me down on our bed and looks at me like he is expecting me to say something. It's not going to happen. If I don't speak, then I can't acknowledge this situation, and if I can't acknowledge this mess, then it isn't happening. I am not going to be one to open this can of worms.

"El, hon, what's going on? Does James know you from somewhere?" Fuck. I can't lie to Peter. I have never lied to Peter. Not once, and I'm not going to let James fucking Bennett be the reason I start.

"Yeah…I…Do you remember how after we started dating I asked you not to ask about my past or childhood?" I look up at the man I love and hope that this doesn't send everything crashing down around me.

"Of course, and I have tried to respect that. So, you're saying you know James from your childhood?" I can tell Peter is confused. The leap I want him to make is truly improbable. This is really going to suck.

"Yeah hon. He's my dad." Like a band aid right? Get all the hurt and weirdness out first.

Peter just stares at me with his eyes wide. I can physically see him resist the urge to pinch his nose like he does at Neal.

"Honey, you're gonna have to expand on that. I'm not sure I follow how that is even possible. That would mean that Neal –"

"Don't say it! Do not say it. I can't deal with that yet." We are both panicking now. This is not good.

Peter takes a few deep breathes and sits down next to me on the bed and takes my hand. "Okay, hon, just start at the beginning, okay."

And I do. I tell him about growing up with James and how I was never sure where I stood with him. He had always wanted a boy and instead he got me. I told him about my mom and my Aunt Ellen. I told him about finding out that my dad was a dirty cop and going into WITSEC and running away. I told him about street cons and meeting Stephanie, my savior, and Jessica, my "sister" who now lives upstate. I told him about how much it hurt to know that I would never get to see my little brother grow up and that he probably wouldn't remember me once he had. I told him everything I had refused to acknowledge for so long and Peter just held my hand through all of it.

"Wow, El, just wow." He says once it's over. I don't know how long it's been since we came upstairs but I am sure that Neal and James are feeling quite unattended to.

"Yeah...listen Peter, you have to get back downstairs, but are we okay hon?" I ask the man I married, terrified that it's not okay. That he will leave or tell me to get out.

Peter leans in and kisses me and says "El, the only thing that's changed is that I now know you are even more amazing, resilient, and intelligent then I thought you were"

I love this man. I kiss him hard and take a deep breath. With him I can deal with anything.

"You can say it now"

Peter laughs. "Alright hon. Neal is your brother. Are you gonna be okay with that?"

"I honestly have no idea. Are you gonna be okay with that?"

"I honestly have no idea" And with that Peter and I stand and walk downstairs together because together we can handle anything.


	2. Chapter 2

I grab Peter right before we are about to step off the staircase and turn him to face me.

"I want to get everything out in the open tonight, hon. No secrets. It wouldn't be fair to Neal if we kept this from him."

I know that it is risky and the last thing I want to do right now is go and have a heart to heart with my con-man brother and my shithead of the father, but it would be mean to keep Neal in the dark when his whole life right now revolves around finding his family.

Peter nods his head in agreement, gives my hand a squeeze, and says "Alright Hon, how about I take Satch for a walk and you go talk to your…family"

"It's totally weird isn't? Oh god. Alright. That's a good idea. You should go now before I chicken out" I give my husband one last hug and send him out the door with our faithful pup.

I look towards the table where James and Neal are leaning over some important document and talking intensely in hushed tones. This is going to be a cluster-fuck. Shit god-damn James Bennett. How dare he show up in my life after all these years. Better yet, how dare he show up in Neal's life!

"James. Neal. Can I speak to you?" I give my client smile again.

Neal gets up and pulls out a chair for me, ever the gentleman, "Are you okay Elizabeth? You and Peter were gone for a while."

I reach up and pat his arm as I sit down. This is going to be so hard. My gaze turns into a glare as I let my attention settle on James.

"Neal, sweetie, why don't you sit down. I have story that I want you both to hear."

I can tell Neal is worried now, but he is also curious, and a little afraid of me so he sits down in the chair next to me silently. I take a deep breath. This is it. Cowboy up, Burke.

"Neal, when I was 15 I ran away from home because my family was being moved into WITSEC. I left my mom, my baby brother, and my Aunt Ellen and came to New York." I pause here to see their reactions. James never knew I left, never knew he was the reason his teenaged daughter lived on the streets on New York alone. James' face is blank, just like it always was when I was a child. That man never had an emotion to spare. Neal's face on the other hand is always expressive. I can practically see him putting it together in his head, he always was a smart one. That's why Peter liked him so much.

"Is… is he your dad?" Neal asks me, pointing at James.

I nod my head, barely holding back tears at this point. This fucking sucks.

"So you're my sister?" He asks again, his eyebrows high on his forehead, even though he already knows the answer.

I nod again and hope this doesn't ruin everything.

Neal's face hardens and his jaw clenches as he asks his next question slow and steady, "How long have you known?" Oh no.

"I literally just found out when you showed up at the door Neal, I promise, I wouldn't keep this from you" I say quickly hoping I can stop the tide of his anger. He nods slowly.

"So you didn't recognize me? Didn't recognize my name? You never thought to check up on who that guy that looked like you was?" He thinks I am lying to him. This is not good.

"Neal, the last time I saw you, you were two years old. You were a chubby little curly haired moppet with a gap in your teeth. There was no way I could have recognized you. And as for your name, I thought it was a strange coincidence, Caffrey isn't all that unusual of a name. Plus, when I left your name had been changed to  Danny Brooks." I can see Neal searching my face looking for the lie, and I let him, he needs to know that his big sister never lied to him. I abandoned him, yes, but I never lied.

"Okay" he says finally, looking away.

That went well, right?

I had almost forgotten about James when he cleared his throat and both Neal and I looked up at him.

"Lizzy—"he starts but I don't even let him finish his thought before I am jumping in, filled with rage.

"No. How dare you! How dare you waltz back into my life after all these years. After leaving us for dead and letting WITSEC take over our lives! You don't get to speak in my home. In fact, you need to leave right now. I don't care what hair-brained scheme you have worked up but you will NOT involve my husband or my brother. Your lies and your agenda already tore apart one family, I won't let it affect mine now."

Did I really just say that? I guess I did because Neal and James are looking at me like I'm about to spontaneously combust and Peter is barging in the back door like he had been sitting there listening in the whole time—which, now that I think about it, is probably true.

"Elizabeth, no. Dad was framed. That's what we are all working on, we're trying to take down the man who framed him."

Is that what he told them? That bastard. Of course he told them that. He must have known that Mom would lie to Neal, build his father up to be some insane hero. I know as much from late night conversations with Peter. This whole situation is so fucked.

"Neal, Peter, trust me on this. James Bennett is nothing but trouble. He may have been framed for the murder, but he was still paid off. I found the money hidden under their bed before he left. I am the one who told Ellen what was happening" I can see the fear in Jame's eyes now. His con is unraveling under his feet. I direct my next blow straight at him, "Guess you broke the first rule of running a game James: know your mark." Then I scoff with disgust just to dig it in deeper how royally fucked he is.

"What? James, you said that Ellen…" Neal says trailing off, trying to salvage his image of his father.

Peter, on the other hand, my hero, is already reaching for his cuffs. I reach out to stop him and he looks at me like I am crazy, which I probably am at this point. "El, if what your saying is true then James Bennett is a wanted criminal and I have to take him in"

I shake my head at Peter and look my father dead in the eye, "James, you have 15 minutes to get out of my house and disappear forever or my husband is going to arrest you and I'm sure whoever you claim framed you is going to make prison very, _very_ unpleasant" and with that I take my husband's hand and slowly push Neal in front of us onto the back patio. I close the door to the dining room and turn my back on my father for the last time.

"I'm sorry Neal" I say when I finally hear the front door close, signaling James' escape into the night. "I know you have been looking for him for a long time, but I promise you I just did us both a favor. That man brings nothing but pain and trouble."

Neal is still standing and I can see his leg start to jiggle like he wants to run. He did that when he was just a baby too. How did I not see it after all these years of knowing him? Of course he is my little Neal Bennett, my moppet. Of course he is.

"I…I…I need to go. I'm sorry" He says, before he turns to take off.

I let him go, he needs to process this just as much as I do and quite frankly I'm not really ready to deal with him right now. I can see Peter looking at me out of the corner of his eye, "The first rule of running a game, hon? Did I marry a con-artist?"

He is laughing now and I can't help myself from joining him. It's either laugh or cry at this point. "I guess it runs in the family" I choke out and that just makes us both laugh harder. This is fucking ridiculous. My life is absolutely fucking ridiculous.

When our laughter dies down and Peter can finally catch his breath, he turns to me and asks "So why didn't any of this come up when I checked up on you with the FBI database?" I blush bright red at this because it is probably the most devious thing I ever did.

"I…well…hmm. After we met that first day at the gallery I used up every favor I had with all of my contacts to get all my info either changed or erased. I liked you and I knew that you were FBI, so I did everything in my power to be datable on paper"

I can see Peter change our whole story in his head from semi-stalking turned beautiful relationship to criminal acts on both parts equaling out into a perfect match, which is the way I have always seen us.

"I should arrest you." He says simply, smiling wide, a mischievous glint in his eye.

He should _definitely_ arrest me.

I throw him a wink, "You gotta catch me first" and with that I go flying into the house and to our bedroom. Maybe I can finally convince him to use his handcuffs for something other than arresting bad guys.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Peter and I were just sitting down to breakfast when the door swung open and Neal walked in with all his usual swagger. Peter just huffed and got up to get him a bowl for cereal, Neal isn't an uncommon guest for breakfast, but I figured after last night he would be avoiding me like the plague.

"Morning, Neal" I say into my coffee cup before taking a big swig. Thank god Peter finally gave in and started buying Italian roast.

"Good Morning, Lizzy" Neal says smiling wide at me. His charming smile that he reserves for cons. He's going to pretend this is normal. I can do that, for a little while at least. At some point he is going to need to face this head on, but if he can't handle that right now then far be it for me to force it on him.

Breakfast goes on as usual after that. Peter and Neal talk shop, and I offer the occasional insight. I talk about the event I have scheduled for later today and the truly magnificent wine selection that's going to be available.

"How do you know so much about wine? I know it's not from living at home…Mom was more of a gin and tonic kind of lady." Neal asks casually after I've finished listing the highlights of my client's collection. I hesitate to answer and look at Peter. I didn't get to the part about my slight criminal past when Neal and I spoke last night.

"You aren't the only one who got taken under the wing of someone with excellent taste when you left home" I hedge, smiling. I'm not sure what effect learning about my time on the streets will have on Neal, if any, but I would rather not risk it over cereal.

"You're hiding something" Neal demands, clenching his jaw.

"Isn't that usually my line?" Peter questions laughingly trying to diffuse the situation. Neal's grimace drops and he gives a chuckle but his eyes never leave me. God dammit. Why can't the past just stay where it belongs?

"When you first got to the city, did you ever hear of someone named Beth Michaels? She ran 'find the lady' for about 2 years in the park?" I ask him, giving in. There is no point in making him angry at this point.

"You mean Mozzie's old arch rival?" He asks and I can't help but laugh. Mozzie is going to implode when he realizes his 'Mrs. Suit' is really the teenager who kept steeling his dealers and forced him to start his 'training program' to make up for lost profits.

Have I mentioned that my life is fucking weird lately?

No?

Well it is.

I finally stop laughing and nod, I can see Peter trying not to look amused out of the corner of my eye and Neal just looks flabbergasted.

"But…does he know who you are?!" Neal asks.

I shake my head, "I was blonde then and a street kid living in the Bronx. There is no way he would recognize Beth in Elizabeth Burke" Neal is looking at Peter now and Peter is trying to look disapproving.

"You knew about this?" He accuses and Peter shakes his head, "I found out last night same as you, Caffrey."

"And you're okay with it?"

This is what I was expecting. Neal's confusion as to why he is treated like a criminal and I get to be Elizabeth Burke, the FBI agent's wife. It doesn't help that Neal has a huge crush on Peter that he thinks I don't know about. This poor kid just can't catch a break.

"Neal, sweetie, I ran small time street cons on tourists. The one big fish I tried to take on ended up calling me out and taking me under her wing after about a week. I was never on your level, little brother. There is a big difference between being a recent internationally renowned art thief and being a small timer who has been out of the game for 15 years." I break this to him as softly as I can. He is nodding his head at me and I know that he is starting to let his brain take control the show instead of his heart.

"You're right. I'm sorry", he says smiling at me genuinely, "You know, you just called me 'little brother' Lizzy" He's beaming now and I can't help but reach over and hug him. This is going to be good for him. Having family around. Even if I'm not quite ready to deal with this whole mess yet, the least I can do is be there for my little brother.

"Don't call me Lizzy, okay sweetie? I always hated that name."

Lizzy Bennett is dead. Elizabeth 'Beth' Michaels took her a place a long time ago and I have no plans on going back, not even for Neal Caffrey.

"I'm sorry El, I was just trying to make this normal somehow." Neal apologizes

"It's okay, I know, but it's like if I started calling you Danny. It just doesn't fit."

He laughs at that and then stops abruptly, "What was your name going to be? In WITSEC, I mean."

"Julianne Brooks" I answer and I see something click inside of him, some mystery that he finally solved.

"Mom used to ask the Marshals about Julianne when they would come by, if they had seen her, if they knew where she was"

Wow. Okay. I didn't know that. I haven't even thought of my family in so long. I never even considered that Mom might have looked for me. She was pretty broken by the time I left. I figured I would be one more burden she didn't have to deal with.

"No one ever told you about me?" This hurts a little. I took care of Neal the whole year before we were placed in WITSEC while dad got farther and farther away and mom delved deeper into the bottle. We were close. Part of the reason I went by Beth when I got to New York was because Neal used to call me 'Bwethy'.

"No." Neal answers simply.

I can see it in his eyes that even though he didn't know I existed until yesterday, he is still angry that I left him. Angry that I didn't stay or take him with me. I don't know what to say to his anger so I bury my head in my coffee and let Peter diffuse the whole situation. By the time I come back out, Peter and Neal are laughing about something and getting ready to leave for the office. Peter would have made a great con-artist. I almost wish I had met him before I met Stephanie. He and I could have taken over the world. And if we could of had Neal on our team somehow? The FBI wouldn't have known what hit them.

"Bye Hon!" I say as they are going out the door.

I take another swig of my coffee. I really need to figure out to handle this thing with Neal. Maybe if I got him alone and explained it to him? Spent all night going over my side of the story? That's what Peter always does. I could steal a couple bottles of nice wine from work, commandeer some fancy cheese, make those Cornish hens he likes and convince him to listen.

I immediately grab my phone and send a text to Peter.

_I'm going to make nice with my little bro tonight so you are on your own for dinner. That okay?_

Should I text Neal too? Or should I surprise him? I don't want to interrupt any plans he might have, and I know he hates it when people drop by unexpectedly. On the other hand, he might not accept if I don't force it on him. My phone pings with Peter's response.

_Alright, hon. I love you. Does Neal know you are going to take over his evening?_

Ha! Sometimes my husband is truly psychic.

_Actually, do you think I should tell him or surprise him?_

_Hmm. Well, I would surprise him, but he expects that from me. It might be better if you invite yourself over politely._

There is an idea. I decide to text Neal right that second.

_Hey Neal, It's El. I think we need to clear the air between us. Figure out what all this means. So, I am going to come over and make you dinner and then we can talk, okay? Peter already knows btw. In case you are wondering. See you tonight around 7?_

I put my phone away and decide to focus on my event for now and check my phone around noon.

My phone pings a second later and I check it again, thinking that it must be Peter. Neal would want to contemplate a meeting for longer the a few minutes.

_Sure. Sounds good. See you then, sister._

Guess I was wrong. Alright. This is going to be good. Is it bad I was hoping he would tell me to fuck off? Not that Neal would ever be so crass. Come to think of it, I don't think I have ever heard him curse. Interesting. New life goal, get Neal Caffrey to say the F-word.

_______________________

My arms are full when I knock on Neal's apartment door at 6:50 that evening. Fuck. Don't freak out, Burke. You can do this. It's just an evening with your little brother.

Neal answers the door dressed down in a t-shirt and jeans. I don't think I have ever seen him dressed this casually before. He looks younger, more like a 26 year old kid then a debonair international art thief.

"Hey El! Let me take that. Cornish hens? My favorite" He grins at me putting the tray on the table.

I hand him the wine selection next, "Check this out" .

He looks at the bottle and I can't tell if he is impressed or appalled.

"El…how did you get a hold of this, this is a really nice bottle, like $1500 nice" He _is_  impressed. Good.

"I still have a few tricks up my sleeve Caffrey, you aren't the only one capable of a little theft now and then."

His grin gets bigger, if possible, "What would Peter think?" he taunts and I just smile and laugh.

What my husband doesn't know won't kill him. There is a reason I got cleaned out when the FBI raided my storefront that time. I take the bottle from Neal and gesture for him to get glasses. I pour us a couple of heavy pours and start plating the food.

"So...," I say as we are sitting down, "We're siblings, I guess. What does that mean?"

"You don't beat around the bush, do you El?" Neal asks me taking a generous sip of his wine.

"Well, I don't see the point in talking around the subject, and the only way we are going to get past this is to get it out in the open" I tell Neal pointedly, "I think you have enough people who talk around the important things in your life, I don't want to be another."

Neal smiles a little at that. "Okay, well…I don't know what it means El. Does it have to mean anything? And listen, before you get all Oprah on me, I never asked for this and quite frankly I don't need a big sister to take of me."

Of course he would feel that way. He's never had a family and quite a bit of that is my fault. Fuck. I really did fuck shit up when I left, didn't I? I should have known that mom was too far gone. I should have taken this wonderful little gapped tooth boy with me. I guess hindsight really is twenty-twenty.

"I know you don't need anyone to take care of you. You're Neal Caffrey, you get everything you want in the world with a smile and a well-placed stumble. I just want to be here for you, as your sister, Neal. I can't help that. You're stuck with me now."

"Well, maybe if you were so worried about being a good sister you wouldn't have kicked our father out of my life! He went to ground. He won't even answer my phone calls." Erupts Neal, almost yelling.

"I did that for the safety of this family! He isn't a good guy Neal. He never was. He—" I have to stop myself before I reveal anything too terrible. Things I haven't thought about since I was 15 because _they didn't happen to Elizabeth Michaels._ Think it 5 times and it'll be true. This is my coping mechanism. Diligent denial. "He isn't the kind of man you want to be your father." There. That'll have to be good enough.

Neal just shakes his head and looks out the bay windows, "I didn't know him El. I don't even remember him. I just want to know who he was, who _I_ am."

I grab his chin and make him look me in the eye."You _are not_ our father. That man has nothing to do with the man you are today. Trust me on this little brother, you are not capable of that kind of evil."

"Evil? El, you know he didn't kill that cop, right? Sure, he was on the take, but he never killed anybody." I shut my eyes. Five times. Say it five times.

When I'm done with my mantra Neal is still staring at me. His big blue eyes brimming with tears, "What did he do El? What else? Besides being a crooked cop and abandoning us and getting us thrown into WITSEC?"

"Nothing you need to worry about sweetie. He's gone now, and he can't hurt us" Five times. This conversation needs to be over now or I am going to lose it. I finish my glass of wine and I can see that Neal isn't going to let this go. Fuck. Five more times: _that didn't happen to Elizabeth Michaels._

It's possible that my life actually is a soap opera or that there is a god because the next thing out of Neal's mouth is totally out of the blue.

"Do you know where mom is?"

What? Okay. Change of subject. Yes, this is good. You know your life is fucked when talking about your alcoholic mother is better than talking about your shithead father.

"No, sweetie. I lost all contact with you guys when I left. Why? Do you know where she is? Are you in contact with her?" I had assumed that Neal had left everything behind like I did, but it's possible he didn't.

Neal bites his lips like he is debating something before getting up and pulling out a large black scrapbook from the bookshelf. He brings it back to the table and flips through the pages. When he finds the right one, he turns the book towards me. Oh Wow. That's mom and Neal. And it's recent. She is sitting in what looks like a day room of some kind of facility.

"When was this taken? Where?" My mom is alive. This is new.

"Right before I got caught the first time. She was in rehab upstate and I went to visit. She was doing well. We write letters now because the marshals won't let her visit and she's a little outside my radius" He chuckles.

Oh wow. I hold my breath for a moment.

"Why didn't you ask her about James? I'm sure she would tell you the same things I did" I say looking up at him and back at the photo. Her hair is streaked with gray and she's smiling. I can't remember the last time my mother smiled.

"You should call her." He says, avoiding my question and writing what I assume is her number down on a piece of sketch paper.

He did ask her. I wonder what she told him. It couldn't have been the truth, not if Neal didn't know he had a sister. _Five Times._

"You, know. That's about all the serious sibling talk I can handle for one night. Tell me about Sarah, and don't say there isn't anything happening there. I see the way you look at her"

After that, the night went on like normal. Neal and I gossiped about his love life and Mozzie's new business scheme. We decided that I should tell him about Beth at our next lunch and that we should get matching hats to freak Peter out.

We didn't talk about James. Or Mom.

And it was _nice._


End file.
